Teddi Mellencamp is addressing where she stands with estranged husband Edwin Arroyave after filing for divorce last month.
On the first episode of her new podcast Diamonds in the Rough with her former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills costar Erika Girardi, Mellencamp, 43, shared that despite her and Arroyave’s divorce, marrying him and having kids together is “one of the best things that [she’s] ever done.”
The reality star revealed that their three children, Slate, 12, Cruz, 10, and Dove, 4, know that the former couple is now separated and are getting divorced. On Nov. 1, the RHOBH alum filed for divorce from Arroyave after 13 years of marriage and cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE.
Mellencamp said during the Diamonds in the Rough podcast that she and Arroyave, 47, both alternate leaving the house “when the other one comes in and sleeps.” She added that she stays at Kyle Richards’ home when Arroyave is staying with their children.
However, the television personality claimed that there was no ill will between her and Arroyave, adding that they “can both be there like for sporting events.” She clarified, “It’s not that we can’t. We’re completely happy to be around one another.”
Mellencamp explained that her “way through” the divorce is that she doesn’t “want to place blame.” However, she admitted that there will be moments where she does feel “angry, hurt, or upset” and that she is going through “the highs and lows.”
She added that through this process, she’ll grieve, “or maybe I’m going to fall back in love again. I don’t know.” Noting that she doesn’t want “to get to the place where [she feels] bitter.”
Mellencamp also reflected on how the divorce of her parents, John Mellencamp and Victoria Granucci, is shaping how she wants to handle her own split. “There was so much mudslinging at each other,” she said of her parents, who married in 1981 and divorced in 1989. “It also became about pleasing them.”
She added that even 35 years after their divorce, she still tells her parents, “Please don’t call me the other person’s name” before noting that the pair aren’t using the labels as “a compliment.”
“There is a level of, like, am I supposed to feel shame for being a part of my parents?” Adding that “whenever they would bitch about each other, I would be like, ‘You guys chose to marry each other and have kids.'”
Mellencamp added that she and her siblings were aware of their parents’ “unhappy” moods as “we weren’t stupid.” As a result, she’s “not putting any emphasis on” her own moods throughout the divorce because “kids are very smart” and aware of their parents’ mindset.
On Nov. 2, Mellencamp announced that she and Arroyave were separating in an Instagram post and emphasized the importance of putting their children first through the transition.
“After a great deal of care and consideration, I have made the difficult decision to file for divorce,” the reality star wrote in her statement. “My priority is my children and ensuring that every care is taken with their privacy and wellbeing throughout this new chapter.”
“Making a public statement is not something I wanted to do,” she added, “But in an effort to protect my family from undue speculation and rumors, I have felt being open, honest, and vulnerable is the best path forward.”
Edwin Arroyave and Teddi Mellencamp with their children. Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave Instagram
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One day prior to the announcement, Mellencamp filed for divorce. According to the court filing obtained by PEOPLE at the time, Mellencamp listed their separation date as Oct. 20 and requested spousal support and primary legal and physical custody of their three kids with “reasonable and frequent” visitation for Arroyave in addition to him being responsible for all attorney’s fees and costs.
A week after her filing, Arroyave responded to her petition and requested the court give the former couple joint custody and block Mellencamp’s ability to receive spousal support but award him the same support. He further cited their prenup, stating: “The parties’ Premarital Agreement sets forth the terms regarding the amount and duration of spousal support to be paid.”
Despite their split, Arroyave revealed on the Nov. 26 episode of his The Eds podcast that he and Mellencamp planned to still spend Thanksgiving together as a family.